Welcome to the World of E-Masonry
News has reached us that under the Constitution of the VIRTUAL GRAND LODGE OF ENGLAND (VGLE) a number of Virtual Lodges have been networked.
VIRTUAL LODGES will have three Assistant & three Principal Officers:
The TECHIE – His Place: At the INITIALIZATION of the PROGRAMME. His
Duty: Being armed with a FIREWALL to ward off all VIRUSES and HACKERS to
The JUNIOR & SENIOR ICONS – Their Places: On the SCREEN. Their Duties: To link the WORSHIPFUL WEB MASTER to the CONTROL PANEL and the SERVICE PROVIDERS.
The JUNIOR SERVICE PROVIDER – His Place: In CYBERSPACE. His Duty: To call the Brethren to SURF THE NET, to LOG ON and LOG OFF so that frustration may be the result.
The SENIOR SERVICE PROVIDER – His Place: NOWHERE ACCESSIBLE. His Duty: To CAUSE FATAL EXCEPTION FAULTS and to CRASH THE SYSTEM and CLOSE THE SYSTEM DOWN before any WORK HAS BEEN SAVED.
The WORSHIPFUL WEB MASTER – His Place: At the KEYBOARD. His Duty: To type COMMANDS, to BOOT the System under the guidance of the GREAT PROGRAMMER OF THE UNIVERSE.
The WWM will open the Lodge by CLICKS of the MOUSEBUTTON (3 left clicks for the First Degree; 2 left & 1 right clicks for the Second; 2 right & 1 left clicks for the Third)
CANDIDATES will be prepared by having their MONITORS shut down, being divested of HARDWARE and having their FLOPPIES and SOFTWARE laid bare.
The PENALTIES for improperly disclosing the Password of a fellow E-Mason is to have their MODEMS cut off, their PROGRAMMES shut down and their intimate e-mails circulated to the RAVENING JOURNALISTS of the NEWS OF THE WORLD.
The PASSWORD is MICROSOFT. The import of the word: BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.
The WORKING TOOLS of the Electronic Apprentice E-Mason are: the MOUSE, the KEYBOARD and the VISUAL DISPLAY UNIT, but as we are not really operative but virtual E-Masons we apply these tools to our computing.
Thus the MOUSE reminds us to keep our tails connected at all times to the proper socket; the KEYBOARD teaches us to save our work before the GREAT PROGRAMMER OF THE UNIVERSE causes us to crash and the VDU warns us that every keystroke will be displayed on that GREAT SCREEN ABOVE from which all our INPUTS will be DOWNLOADED.